Physical Problems

Hi everyone,

It has been a hot minute since I was on here writing and that is for a reason. I swear I didn’t forget to write, I just have been physically drained. I thought that this would be a good time to talk about how physical issues can cause so much stress and other problems.

I have stage IV endometriosis that has lead to me having yearly surgeries to remove the endometriosis. This was being handled until my obgyn decided she didn’t want to be my doctor anymore. So I have been trying to find a good doctor since and have struck out in many places. Now I am being referred  to a doctor out of St. Louis who is apparently an expert in endometriosis. Of course since this doctor is out of a big hospital I can not get in to see him until next year so until I do get to meet him I have been placed on a horrific drug to help stop the endometriosis growth.

For those of you that do not know me, I tolerate pain very well. I hardly ever take pain medications and try not to complain about my problems. Now with that said I also have these moments where I can not move. I can not breathe. I can not lay down because I feel like I am being gutted with a big knife and left to die. Lately these moments are very often.

So this “magical” drug they placed me on is supposed to help but at what cost? I will be going through a fake menopause (that many people who take the drug never come out of) and hoping it doesn’t kill the part of my brain that produces hormones. The doctor described this medicine to me as “being just like chemotherapy for endometriosis” and I think that it is holding true to its description so far (minus the killing of the endometriosis because I can’t see inside me to know that).

Because of all of this I have been absolutely drained. I am exhausted and cranky. I just want to sleep for 10 years and wake up feeling better. I have had the worst brain fog and memory malfunctions, which I am thinking is from the pain medicine I take. I am not 100% and am putting every ounce of effort into trying to be as close to that 100% I can be.

The main reason for me posting this is to possibly educate some of you out there that may not know that having a disease can alter your brain, make you more irritable, make you more emotional, or make you shut down. These things can come from chronic pain, stress from trying to find/fight doctors, or stress from just trying to live your life while dealing with everything that you are dealing with.

My disease is invisible to all of you, but I still have it. I still have the pain and I am learning to live with it. Please keep in mind that there are many invisible illnesses that may be affecting the people you talk to on a daily basis.

To those of you fighting your own battle, keep looking up. Have hope that it will get better. Fight for your health. You can do this.